In today's post, I register a modest complaint about the perversion of all my favorite foods with the scent and flavor of this horrid orange fruit. Sheesh, you'd think the pumpkin growers association (I’m sure there must be one) was charged with inventing a thousand new ways to force people to consume pumpkin.
Or maybe somebody simply planted far too many of these hideous orange gourds, and the low price is too tempting to food producers across the nation.
But before I get to that, the Mad One has a confession to make – I, er…, kinda slept through last week’s Thursday Tee. I mean, the dog ate my scintillating banter, and I was too depressed to attempt a rewrite. Um, or would you believe that I wrote it, sent it out as usual, but somehow alien forces prevented the words from reaching you?
I thought not.
And what’s worse, no matter how many explanations I tried to invent, explanations that would cast all the blame on Mad Evan or Mad Kenneth, I couldn’t find one that seemed even remotely plausible.
So Mea Culpa. I did it. I just forgot. I will punish myself shortly.
But to partially atone for my sin, I’ll leave the seven (Yep, count ‘em – seven!) Halloween tees I put up last Monday on sale for a few more days.
Now, with that settled, on to pumpkins.
This week, when I paid a trip to the local grocery, my senses were assaulted by the pervasive presence of the giant orange fruit. Of course, there was the (by now) traditional pumpkin spice latte but added to this I came across many other pumpkin polluted products. There were pumpkin spice Pringles, pumpkin spice milk, pumpkin Oreos, and even pumpkin spice chewing gum (yuck!) I think I might have thrown up in my mouth a little just typing that.
But the one I simply couldn’t take involved the violation of a sacred tradition, the defiling of a food by the pumpkin spice advocates that should never be altered in any way.