It is no secret that Mad Gringo is an avid fisherman and has been for many years. I come by this avocation honestly, being the genetic product of a long line of serious hobby fishers of fish. When it came to trolling the big water for giants from the murky depths, my ancestors were in the forefront.
Uncle Cletus catches a largemouth bass
In more recent years,I have made the odd pheasant hunting trip with friends, even occasionally getting off that amazing hip shot to bring down a bird.
In fact, not long ago I began to consider myself to be a moderately accomplished shot with a scattergun and not half bad at comporting myself as a bird hunter.
That was just before I “graduated” to turkeys.
Turkeys are a much more difficult hunting objective than a pheasant. They are more cautious, have better hearing and eyesight, and despite being quite plentiful in the Fremoahu area, seem to have a knack for getting close but not close enough.
I enlisted a friend to give me some instruction on the finer arts of pursuing these oversized chickens. He took me to his favorite a field, and in thirty minutes, I shot a bird. That night we feasted on deep fried turkey. “Easy as pie,” or I thought.
That evaluation lasted only until I tried to repeat the process on my own.
I’ve since “hunted” for turkeys on numerous occasions – totally without success. I hear birds. Sometimes, I see them. But none is ever caught.
In the process, I’ve honed many skills. I can spot a tick from half a block. My Freecell abilities have become legendary. I can even manage to drag my sorry self out of bed two hours before sunrise, sometimes without muttering curses for the first half hour.
My friends are not sympathetic. They continue to email me pictures of flocks of turkeys feeding in their backyards. Or they report their sightings to me, which seem to occur on virtually every county road.
I think they’re mooning me!
Alas, I fear I’ve reached the point where I must forget about thse wily, elusive birds and return my attentions to the finny fiends – if only for my own sanity.