(thoughtful advice for guys, delivered a little too late to be useful.)
Rumor has it that Mad Gringo’s memory isn’t what it used to be. Alas, there is truth to this story, as evidenced by the fact that this post is too late to actually help struggling men everywhere. But when something truly important is on the line, he’s smart enough to use a calendar. Which leaves him no excuse for missing the most important of all (Greeting Card Company devised) holidays. Valentine’s Day.
Unfortunately, memory isn’t the only part of his anatomy that is… er, a little bit deficient.
Yes, he has a lot of challenges to get past. But while the Mad One might today be a mere shadow of his youthful self, he knows how to deliver a top shelf Valentine’s Day experience. The secret is handcrafting, and for any holiday where he’s expected to show appreciation for Mrs. Gringo, he goes all out. The Internet makes this easy…
First, he finds a reasonable facsimile (wow, remember that term?) of what he wants to create. A good source is Pinterest, a place men rarely visit…
Then he just copies it. A piece of cake.
Here’s the finished product…
If there is any gap between vision and execution, it will be tactfully ignored. Promise. For example, if you don’t think you can cut out all those butterflies, a bit of pink tissue paper and a few pictures of Nick Cage are a reasonable substitute.
Once you have your item of handcrafted beauty ready, simply add a small gift. Then place the entire ensemble at her place at the breakfast table.
Or, for a larger peace offering… uh, I mean gift, try her parking spot in the driveway.